Clovers & Roses

Where the heck do I even begin. Thinking about everything now just makes my head throb even more but I guess like all things, we have to start from the beginning. 

In my last post I blogged about my results and it's only fitting if I spill how did I do. I basically flunked my exams. With several B's, C's, D's and even one U (which is equivalent to a fail) I would not consider my results as okay.

What made me so angry was my Chem Unit 4 paper. It was so easy but like all exams the exam board just loves to "scale" our marks and because of that I got a D in such an easy paper. I was not surprised at the fact that my U was for Core Mathematics 4. I pretty much expected myself to get a grade like that since I barely understood what the whole unit was even about.

As always everyone tells me that it's okay and I can just try harder for the paper since I am already going to retake most of the papers this May/June. What they don't know is how stressful it will be since I have to take 10 papers in total this coming May/June. Does anyone even understand how much I need to study?

Making things even worse was my scholarship from the University's Trust. I completely forgot that my results for each exam will be sent to them and that I need to maintain at least a 70% pass for my GPA. Heck. I didn't even know how to count my GPA for A-Levels since it's basically the grades that most people look at when it comes to A-Levels.

 So one day it hit me that my exam grades probably did not meet the requirement stated in the scholarship terms. I was freaking out like a mad woman when I checked my email that day and the University's Trust sent me an email requesting me to make an appointment by March 30th or have my scholarship revoked without appeal. I made an appointment to speak with Ms. Shannen and I decided to keep this from my mum. From then till the day of my actual interview with Ms. Shannen, I was scared shitless. I was so afraid that the University Trust will come to a decision to terminate my scholarship.

I'll tell you why I was that scared about my scholarship getting terminated. Most of you who accept scholarships just know that if you in any way break their clauses as stated in the agreement you have to pay them back every single cent. Most often it is because the GPA or grades required were not met. In my case, I not only need to pay back the University Trust the amount that they gave me. I need to pay them an ADDITIONAL 10% PER ANNUM. This means that I need to pay them a total of RM8000+10% which sums up to about RM9800. A jaw-dropping amount for me because I cannot whip out that sum of money just with a raise of my finger. 

Thankfully, the day when I met with Ms. Shannen to explain to her why I could not perform in the exams she told me that the University Trust has decided to give me a second chance because my GPA was 64 which was only 6 marks short from the 70 that I was supposed to have. I was beyond grateful that day to find out that my scholarship was not auto-terminated. However, I have to make sure that I pull up my GPA this coming May/June exams. If I do not then I still need to pay them back that amount. So either way I still need to perform well and damn I am stressed about that. Which explains why I have migraine lately which I never had before this.