Clovers & Roses

Source: http://brookeweeberillustration.tumblr.com/post/46956630207/hello-spring

Finally I am on my long awaited 3 months semester break. After the hectic schedule of my third year, this holiday is much appreciated. It has been a little over a week since my holidays started and I have been busy with my attachment/part-time job at the pharmacy. Hence, the lack of update on any of my social media.


Working at the pharmacy has been really educational for me, especially with the attachment that I am on for 4 weeks. I learned so much from shadowing the pharmacist in charge and she has been really good in teaching me all sorts of things. I received loads of feedback on the things I needed to improve on and also the knowledge that I needed to brush up on. I have to say, she is better than some of my lecturers. I think it is mostly because she is practising and my lecturers are mostly giving us theory as opposed to practical experiences. Anyway, that is why I have the attachment.


Apart from the attachment, I did do regular holiday things like doing some light reading. Prior to my break, Any and every kind of reading that I did was related to my classes. There were endless journals to be read for assignments and stacks of notes to be memorised for my tests and exams. Needless to say, it was not the most enjoyable kind of reading but it was a necessity.


Recently, I started reading One Hundred Names by Cecelia Ahern. This book is probably not the newest from her but it is one that I have been eyeing for awhile. I finally bought it about a month ago when there was a pop up book store in my campus. It was kind of difficult to resist buying when they were selling the book at only a fraction of the current retail price! I'm about halfway through the book and I am genuinely surprised how relatable the story is to me.


If any of you have read the book, you know that the main theme of the story (at least in my opinion) is persevering through adversity. I know, this theme is a very common theme and everyone knows the principle of it. The way the story is written really shows this theme in a very good way. It is relatable to me because this past year has not been easy on me.


I shall not divulge into the details of my life but basically, I have had a hard year. It was something I knew that would occur but I supposed when I "signed up" for it I didn't expect the severity of it. I guess signed up isn't quite the best way to word it but I did consciously make a decision. There were many times I faced challenges from all possible ends and I thought I could not make it through, that it will break me and this would be the end. Somehow I pull through each time and survived till now.


Looking back, I wonder what would it be like if I never held on. Would I still be here or would I be somewhere else? Would I be in a better situation than I am right now? Obviously these are questions that no one can answer but I naturally just love to wonder. This trait of mine is what makes my therapist quite baffled with me sometimes I think. Lol


Anyway, the story written by Cecelia Ahern speaks to me in that sense. When reading the book, I feel like I understand how the main character feels, how tired she must be feeling from taking hit after hit and having to stand back up and take another step forward. I was just like that this past year and I know that challenges come and go all the time. We can never fully guess or predict when the next one will come. Neither can we fully prepare ourselves should the next challenge comes knocking on our door.


I always thought that if I prepared well enough then there is not a single challenge that can take me down. That was until this year. This year made me realise that there are just some things I can not prepare for. I mean, I can be somewhat prepared but I cannot expect things to be exactly as how I predicted them to be. I am not trying to be a show off here when I say this but my instincts are usually on point on most occasions but even with instinct so on point, I was taken by surprise more than once.


The feeling of not being able to prepare for it or rather not being prepared enough is the most terrifying thing I had to face this year. I had to learn how to accept it and accept that I cannot be 100% for certain things. I supposed I can say that I learned that this year and hopefully, this will make me a better person for the coming years.