Clovers & Roses

Today was the first day of my one week orientation for my Bachelor of Pharmacy course at Taylor's University. I was definitely nervous about this whole orientation thing because I'm pretty afraid that I won't make any friends while I'm here. Maybe it's because of all the negative things and the backlash that I've had with several so-called "friends" that leads me to think that I might somehow repel people. I know it's a very negative thought to have but trust me if you go through what I've gone through you'd understand why I think this way.

Anyway, I had to catch the bus to Lakeside today and I had to take the 7.30 bus there. Orientation starts at 9 but we have to be there by 8.30. I was pretty afraid I'd miss the bus but thank goodness I didn't :) Bus arrived and I boarded it thinking it was a good sign so far. Then the bus made another stop and this girl came up the bus. I was seating alone and happily bopping my head to Moves Like Jagger on the radio when she came to the seat beside mine and literally slam her as down. Oh and before that she gave me this totally bitchy look of hers. Like seriously what is her problem? It wasn't like I refuse to let you sit or something so why did you show me that face and then slam your ass down next to me. I decided to just ignore her and listen to more music as we gradually approach the campus. I had my horrid nervous stomach to calm down anyway. 

Upon arriving, I had to search for Lecture Theater 12 which was located in Block D, Level 1. With that much details given I suppose it should be an easy place to find. But I worry with the amount of student there were at the place I could easily lose my way. Luckily I managed to find the lecture theater and I was EARLY! :D I sat down and had some papayas for breakfast because my stomach was doing belly flops on itself by then.

As the 9 o'clock hour approached I made my way back to the lecture theater and saw more people there. As I waited for the staff from the School of Pharmacy to get the registration counter set up, I saw a familiar face and I was so happy. I met a friend who like me used to study in UCSI except she did foundation and I did A-Levels. We both lived in the residential hostel on campus. I was on the second floor and she was the third. Plus, we were both scholarship students and we were both placed in Registrar's Office for our work hours. To meet her there was such a blessing because I felt a little left out seeing as I was the only one there alone. We went in together and made friends with a new girl also because she was alone. It ended up being the three of us sitting in the same row and talking :) 

On the more sour note, I actually saw several faces which I recognized as people who were from Malacca. One of them used to be my classmate back in high school. What shocked me was the fact that they were oblivious to me and even when I smiled at them they didn't even acknowledge it. I admit it wasn't like I was all buddy buddy with them when I was in high school but honestly a smile wouldn't hurt you know. Just for courtesy's sake. I'm not asking you to be my BFF. I just thought seeing as we technically know each other albeit not super close you could very least respond with a smile. But no. They were all high and mighty with their clique of friends. I didn't pay much thought to it after that. Just sat in my seat with my two friends and talked and had fun the whole time :D

This concludes the first day of orientation and hopefully tomorrow will be an even better day. Technically there was more to the orientation today but I'll not bore anyone with the details. Ah well :)

Tomorrow we take pictures for our ID cards!

Hopefully my snapshots doesn't end up looking like a mugshot instead

More details about orientation week tomorrow :D

The time has come for me to reveal where I am going to spend the next 4 years of my life. After the tedious process of applying for two prospective universities, I finally got an answer from one out of the two. First answer I got was from IMU. Within a week of me submitting my application, they emailed me to let me know that they have a seat for me. I wasn't thrilled or anything. I actually found it pretty odd that they had a seat for me. 

I know everyone was gushing with excitement when I told them that I had an offer from IMU. They were all "You got it? That's really good!! IMU is good. You should choose to go there. Accept their offer before it's too late!". Okay maybe not in those exact words but the context is the same. I dragged in giving them a response because I still had an interview at Taylor's on the 28th. So I left them hanging and focused on my interview. 

The interview at Taylor's

It was nerve wrecking. I mean I wasn't exactly sure how the interview will be conducted. All I did was dress according to their dress code and show up at their division office. Thank goodness I had my cousin with me that day :)
First thing they had me do was write a personal statement of minimum 400 words. It was all impromptu and I had around 2 to 3 hours tops just to work on it. I blanked out when I saw the paper. It was the worse time to have a writer's block. I was supposed to be the third candidate to be interview by the panel and I ended up being the fourth because I spent so much time trying to figure out how to write my personal statement. Lord knows a personal statement is super important when it comes to interviews.
After hastily scribbling my last line, I was brought into a discussion room where I met the panel. Three senior lectures from the School of Pharmacy will be interviewing me. Talk about intimidation. After the introductions were made, they asked me a lot of questions. Both to test the depth of my knowledge and my understanding of the pharmaceutical field. It was intense. I tried to keep the interview light (and also to prevent myself from hyperventilating and getting tongue tied) by smiling my brightest and most cheerleader-esqued smile and laughed when necessary.
Thank goodness they were pretty friendly and they could understand my points of view and the reasons I gave them when they asked why I chose Taylor's.
In the end, I PASSED!! :D
I got a spot and I had to register with Cardiff University. So I am considered a Cardiff University student for Year 1 and 2.

*****
Skipping all the unnecessary details of all the drama that unfolded after my interview, I eventually made my choice.

I AM TAYLOR'S BOUND!

I feel really excited and nervous at the same time. It's a whole new experience for me and I am praying that it will be a truly remarkable and unforgettable one. I really hope that I will be able to succeed in this course and find some true friends here. I have been through so much when it comes to friends and the last thing I need is another insincere friend.

I've also moved in to my new place in SS15. It's okay so far although the people living in this house is about as friendly as a hungry lion is to a piece of meat. Then again at least the lion has some emotional reactions when it sees the meat. They are like stones that can move. Living, breathing stones that are emotionless.

I'm definitely looking forward to orientation on Monday and classes the following week after orientation. I'm so eager to go back to classes! :)

The time has finally come for me to decide which pathway I want for my impending future. But before I get ahead of myself, I should start with the beginning.

Firstly, my results were released a few weeks back and to say that I am happy with it is completely untrue. I definitely expected more for my Biology and Chemistry. I expected at least one A or something but I got only B's for my three subjects. Disappointing but oh well, life goes on.

As disappointing as my results were, I am grateful that at least I manage to get the minimum requirements for Pharmacy. At least I still have a shot at doing the course.

Naturally, after getting results, the application process comes next. It was not much different for myself. Right after I got my results, I was busy filling up application forms and arranging time for me to go to the prospective university's campus.

The question now would be:
Where did I apply to?

It was pretty straight forward I suppose for my case. I didn't need to think about overseas and visa and whatnot. An overseas education was not written in the plan for me so I just applied for local programs. Those that offered 4 years done locally. At a reasonable price range too. I guess a part of me does wish an overseas education was part of my education plan but sometimes things just aren't meant to be. I settled with what I can have here. And I picked two universities to apply to.

#1. IMU (International Medical University)

The name of this university itself screams what kind of courses they offer. It goes without saying that IMU is one of the pioneer and renowned universities when it came to health sciences. They have practically everything you can think of when it comes to health sciences. You name it, they most probably will have it.

Like the rest of my class who are planning to study locally or twinning, IMU was the top on their list. Because everyone thinks IMU is the best university to go to when you want to be a doctor or a pharmacist or a chiropractor or a medical biotechnologist or a nutritionist or a nurse or a Chinese medicine specialist and etc. So you get my point.

Frankly speaking, I am not one of them whom puts IMU on the top of my list. I mean at first yeah it sounded pretty prestigious and all that. But after visiting the campus and thinking more about it I changed my perspective in regards to IMU.

 Sure people will say looks are deceiving and I cannot just judge a university's prestige based on the outlook of its' campus. But how many know that IMU selects students based on their results? Whereby those who have the strings of A's are prioritized whereas those who achieve the minimum requirements are considered last. If that is how they are selecting students then all that glory and achievements aren't exactly the work of the lecturers.

The logic is this: You select a bunch of top quality brains and what do you expect the outcome to be? Obviously they will produce the outstanding results that they do. That's because they have the brains and capabilities.

Nevertheless, I submitted my application for IMU as well as paid the RM150 processing fee. The next step was just sit my ass down and wait. Wait to see if I will be offered a place in their limited seats intake.


#2. Taylor's University

My second choice gave me even more drama and complications. Basically, the whole entire universe, or at least the one that I revolve in, has this mega unshakable impression that the Taylor's name equals a huge shitload of money when it comes to education. Yes I do agree at some certain level but for the course that I intend to do, it is cheaper than option #1. And it's not like a few hundred bucks cheaper. We're talking about a few grand cheaper.

Then there's the issue of how new the course is. Yes I know it's a risk applying to go to a university whose course doesn't even have one graduation batch but honestly these days there are so many other universities out there offering the same course without a graduating class either. I mean you are living under a rock if you didn't notice how many universities suddenly appear offering courses in health sciences. At least I am applying into a reputable university that has been there for decades. Although it is not as established in the field of Pharmacy.

Looking through the course, graduating from here I will get two certificates. One, a degree in Pharmacy awarded by Taylor's and two, a diploma in Pharmaceutical Studies awarded by Cardiff University. I'd like to think that getting two certificates and one being awarded by a university in the UK is more valuable compared to a single certificate awarded by the local university itself.

The same as option #1, I paid the processing fee/interview fee of RM200 (Yes I actually HAD an interview for this university unlike option #1). I scheduled the interview and I was good to go. Although the company I had with me at that time showed complete disapproval with me submitting my application. I mean I didn't hear the words uttered but I certainly saw the frown of disapproval and the flash of annoyance reflected in the eyes when I took charge and decided to go ahead and submit the application and pay the fee.

*****
So that was basically my application process post-results day. Nothing huge or major but still something.

And I know my family, both intermediate and extended, are in total judgmental mode right now with the choice I made. I am pretty sure they are all trying to get me to go to another university. Everyone is like psycho-ing my decision. What's worse is they are saying to my ever gullible mum. Not that I am trying to insult anyone. I'm just stating my thoughts and opinions here.

Indefinite holidays. To many that sounds like Christmas morning because everyone wants a holiday. Some time to relax, party, let loose, do whatever they want just because they can. After all, that is what holidays are for.

So I am basically having an indefinite length of holidays. Since I haven't applied into any university I have the liberty of doing whatever I want until I choose to apply. Obviously I am not the kind of girl who would purposely delay going in university just because I can. I actually want to start studying and getting back with the thick volumes of Chemistry and Biology facts. I want to put on my lab coat and breathe in the smell of the labs. I want to go to class and learn something new. 

I JUST WANT TO STUDY BECAUSE I MISS STUDYING.

As shocking as that may seem, I miss life as a student. All the lessons and quizzes and tests and work. I miss them all. Which is a first for me.

I think it has a strong link to the fact that I have been staying for a whole month plus at home, not doing anything at all. Saying I am bored is quite frankly an understatement. I am nearly killing myself at home with nothing better to do. 

Well I did spend a week or two in KL during this extended holiday. It was by far more entertaining than just staying in at home. My schedule at home was basically: wake up, shower, eat, read, eat, sleep, eat more, shower and sleep. With the occasional chores that I help out at home. Judging by my schedule, I definitely did not work on my diet programme which is going to bite me right in my ass. 

Now I'm going to go through what I did during this holiday: 

#1: Marble Nail Art

I've always wanted to try this technique out but while I was still in A-Levels, I barely had enough time to study what more experiment with nail art techniques. So now that I am on a super long break, I have all the time in the world to do this. Plus it takes lots of patience and trials and errors before actually getting it right. I'm glad to say that I NAILED IT! :D *proud*

Being the crazed nail polish collector and user that I am, I am very proud of myself for having the patience to do this until it was a success. There's just something about nail polish that makes me relax when I do it. It's kind of like my own therapy session. Just me and my bottles of nail polish :)

#2: Grey's Anatomy

I was a big fan of the show years back and somehow along the way I stopped watching because things like school activities and exams and tuitions got in the way. I ended up missing all the episodes so I stopped watching all together. Now that I am so free, I managed to get all EIGHT seasons of this show and I am so addicted to it! :) The life and drama of surgeons in a bustling hospital set at the heart of Seattle, Washington. It was like me and caffeine. Only I could watch it 24/7, episode after episode. Oh and this show makes me wonder if I should give medicine a try since I haven't exactly made up my mind yet. I wonder if I could be a kick ass surgeon in the future. 

I was hunting for Dr. Owen Hunt's version of this picture but I couldn't find it. He is McSexy and he is sexy indeed with that blonde hair and gorgeous blue eyes :) Since I can't find Dr. Oven Hunt's version of the above posters ....

I give you Dr. Oven Hunt himself! :P

#3: 50 Shades of Grey Trilogy

This is what I call my other Grey. I've come across this book multiple times on the shelves of MPH Bookstores and I remember wondering what is so good about this book that it's on the current bestselling list. One day I picked up 50 Shades of Grey (Book 1) and decided to read the first few pages. To get a feel of this paperback over the night hit. The moment I took the book and read it, Mr. Boo of mine told me it's a perverted book. Imagine that. I was intrigued immediately because HE READ IT BEFORE I DID. That never happens. Of course I continued reading it. I brought it to the Reader's Lounge and read it. Before I reached the end of Chapter 1, I was already hooked on it!

It's not a book with very deep insight and stuff that's too complicated. Essentially, it's a love story albeit a very sexually descriptive one. Speaking of the descriptive "bedroom stories", it is definitely a change in perspective for all. This book brings to life a more adventurous side of the human sexual nature. In a way, many of us would find a relationship like that a taboo but this book shows how this particular relationship works and why it isn't all that bad. Putting aside all the psychological issues that Mr. Grey is having, he just needs to learn how to be loved.

I admit that the descriptions are indeed very vivid and this book is by far one of the most descriptive books in the English language that I have read for this particular topic. But I can see the love story behind it and it is a good one. Of course, if anyone plans to read this, I would recommend an open mind. Nonetheless, I give it 5 stars :)

As of now as I am typing this very post, I am done with A-Levels. It is over. It is done. Finito baby. And without a doubt, I am super happy to be done with A-Levels. I have to admit that A-Levels was no easy feat but I made it through! With a few bumps and bruises along the way but I made it out stronger than ever :) *proud proud*

A-Levels is one of the many milestones in life and I am proud to be able to say that I crossed another milestone in my life. The past year and the half was challenging and there were numerous times where I literally didn't think I would be able to make it through. Countless times I reached my breaking point and felt like giving up but thanks to some of my super close friends and God I persevered. Thank You Lord! :D <3

Several days leading up to today, I had a few people ask me if I will miss A-Levels. Honestly speaking, yes and no. I mean yes I will miss going to class and laughing at lecturer's jokes and having some of my classmates joke around. But on the other hand, I will not miss this university because as much good and happy memories were created here in this campus, there are still memories that are too painful and bitter that were made here and I just want to get away from it. No details but that's the gist of it. 

Oh and I will definitely miss my roomie :( My roomie for half a year. She is truly a great friend and one that I will never forget. She always listens to all the crap I say and all my rants. Never complaining about anything. I will miss the times we spent together in our room, 210, having heart to heart talks and sharing experiences. Advising each other about our own problems and just providing an ear to listen. Most importantly, she was the one who defended me when a certain phone call came one night. That truly showed how much of a good friend she is. She just defended me without even second guessing. So I decided on giving her a parting gift as a surprise. Not sure if she has seen it yet but keeping my fingers crossed that she'll like it.

Tadaaa!! :)

As A-Levels is over, I am required to move out from the hostel on my last day! Which is completely nuts since I am not from KL. My mum has to drive all the way from Melaka just to pick me up. So after discussing with the Accommodation people, they gave me a grace period on when to move out which was by the next day before 12pm. Fair deal so I need to pack everything in my room. And I literally wanted to kick myself in the ass for bringing so much stuff when I first moved in. I had so much of crap that when I finished packing ALL my things I had 4 boxes AND 8 bags all filled to the max with things. And I actually threw away quite a number of things just to reduce the number of bags or boxes. Even still, when my mum arrived and we put everything into the car, it was so full that the backseat can only fit one person. 

Arriving at home was another problem. Had to carry the things all the way to the ninth floor. My mum was grumbling about the weight of my things. Especially my books. Those weigh like elephants. No joke. Unpacking was another nightmare. My closet was bursting after I unpacked my clothes and I had no place to place my books so I left them in the boxes. My room is now so cramped. Thank goodness neither me nor my sister has claustrophobia since we are sharing the room. 

Given everything I am so glad to be home. Finally I can enjoy the holidays without books and studying and tests and exams getting in the way. Heee!! :D

So what's the first thing I will do now that I am back home?

GO
SWIMMING
TO
LOSE
WEIGHT

Until then my lovelies,

-xxlynnalurve

A little over half into my 2 weeks plus break and I find myself at a constant battle with my mind and heart. My exams are due to begin again in less than a week. To be battling my own mind and heart is not a good place to be in at this period of time. It wears me up so badly that there are days I just sit there in the same spot thinking, wondering, imagining, hoping and trying to figure out what the heck should I do or say. Hell I spent the whole time thinking of the things I can do and whether I should do it.

Making things worse is the fact that I have had so much happen to me in the last month. I honestly want to talk about it but I can't. I want to talk to him about it but I am pretty sure that if I open up that particular topic, things will be ugly between me and him. There seems to be no way for me to be able to talk to him about it without jeopardizing our relationship. And I mean even platonic relationship.

I do not wish for a confrontation. I just want a conversation. A heart to heart. Where I can tell him how and what I really feel with everything that happened. I am not trying to blame him for it happening. I just don't want to have to hide this from him. I cannot pretend for so long that this issue is not bothering me when it clearly does.

Adding to all of that is his departure that is dawning very soon. I can't tell if I have actually come to terms with it. At times it seems like I am okay with his leaving and other times I am sadden by it. I keep wondering what is going to happen to the both of us when he leaves. I am pretty sure that the person he is now will not come back the same after spending 2 years on a different continent.

Of course everyone will tell me that it is the modern era and there is no boundaries when it comes to communication but the problem is whether he wants to keep in contact with me when he is there and I am here. With a big gap in time zones, it is a challenge. I am up for it but is he? I don't ask him or bring up this issue because I don't want to be pressuring him to keep in contact with me. I believe that if he wants to he will without me asking or bringing it up. He will take the initiative to do it if he wants to.

So far he hasn't spoken a word about it and things seem pretty bleak now.

Exams have officially begun and this time it is my FINAL exam. No more chance for repeating any of my modular units. The grades I get in this exam session is and will be my final grade for A-Levels. So the pressure is definitely ON. 

As of now, I have sat for 2 papers. Biology Unit 6 and Statistics 1. That bring me to a remainder of 8 papers for this exams. MAD STRESS!!

Clearly those who are taking A-Levels now may not understand what is Biology Unit 6 (except if you are also enrolled in Edexcel's A-Levels). Biology Unit 6 is basically a theory-based paper for practical work. Tests us on our research skills and our ability on planning a functional experiment based on all the Biology concepts. Since we aren't exactly able to conduct an actual research like those in UK. They have summer holidays to do it or something like that. Which we do not have that period of time. For CIE A-Levels I suppose your system varies from Edexcel's but nevertheless it is still on the whole A-Levels.

Anyway, I thought the paper was pretty okay. I won't say it was good because I am never that confident. One thing A-Levels has definitely taught me is NEVER HOPE FOR AN EASY PAPER. 

Seriously, an easy paper is the ultimate downfall. I am not even joking about it. They scale your marks that, example, for a 90 marks paper you need to score say 60 to PASS. Not to get an A but to PASS. So imagine how much of a screw up that would be if you scored 58/90 and FAILED. So I definitely don't hope for an easy paper.